Dear Mr. Harvey and morning crew,

I have been married for well over twenty years. I have NEVER had an affair and have been loyal to a man who has been abusive and now, absent in the bedroom. We are both Christian people. I am very loving and affectionate and he has taken that all from me. At first I thought he may be going through a mid life crisis and later, things changed drastically. He no longer wanted to come to bed, there was no hug and no kisses and after months, I addressed his lack of affection as we had not had sex in 6 months and that 6 months led to a year and then, more months. I asked him if he could help me to understand why he was feeling so hostile toward me and why he could no longer have sex. He was NEVER able to give the right answer as to why he was not able to have sex or able to show love to me. His answers were vague, thoughts were off track and nothing seemed to apply to me. His answers were hurtful and abusive and I did not know if he was talking to me or someone else. His reasons just did not make sense to me. He was just very mean. I at no time attacked him. I remember just standing quietly and listening to him berating me, his ranting and his abuse was too much. Then when he finished, I walked away. Yes, I walked away, not even one curse word, not a word, just walked away. I knew that to yell, scream or curse would be useless. It was as if the gates of hell opened up and satan got in his mind, took over his body and tongue. He denied an affair, phone sex, pornography and being gay. He locks his cell phone up and keeps it with him at all times, even while sitting on the toilet. I have suspected, phone sex, phone and on line affair, pornography but, he denied them all. The only thing I want to know is why I was not good enough, I am a good and loving wife. I am not the best looking woman but, I look well, dress well and have a good and kind loving spirit. The love that I had the passion is gone now because of all that he has said, done and not done, (sex). I am tired of trying to think it through. I just wanted to be loved. And I loved this man until I could not love anymore and there was nothing left. But the sad thing is that I do not like feeling out of love with him. I enjoy being a wife and I am a good one, I guess I just need to know from a mans perspective why I was not enough.


“I Can’t figure it out”